Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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