Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
