he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
