so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
