I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
