Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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