STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
