it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
