I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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