On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
