that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize