He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
