They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
