3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
