its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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