Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we're making bets on your personal life
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
