I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
