You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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