One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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