I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
