Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
