and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
