did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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