Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
