I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
