I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
