...so i touched it.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
