it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
