I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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