Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
