if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
