I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
