dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize