best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
