4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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