i just had sex bonerless
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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