I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
