If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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