it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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