Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
