It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
