My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
