those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
