i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
