i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
