hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
