1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
