Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
