if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
