It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
